I'm not talking about people with dwarfism (normally cast as elves or ewoks in movies) but tiny football coaches. You know who I am talking about - they are the ones that demand you drink your beer "ice cold."
If you feel the need to take their advice then may I remind you of this guy:
Gazoo says "serve your beer ice cold"
I was clued into this article about proper beer temperature and greatly offended. While you should be drinking your finer "craft" beers at cellar temperature (55-60 degrees Fahrenheit), I take offense to them referring to the macrobrews as "beer."
Did you ever have a Smirnoff Ice? Look at the label and you'll notice it says malt-based beverage. Guess what? This is how they make those macrobrew "beers" too. Macrobrewers make a "base" malt beverage and turn it into these "malternatives" or "beer" by adding flavors and coloring. Here's a surprisingly good article in the Buffalo News about that sector of the industry. So while it may be "beer" by all legal definitions and standards, it is not beer to me.
For some reason I always feel the need to check reader comments on Yahoo! News. The most resounding critique of the article was that the author shouldn't be telling people how to live their lives and they will drink their beer cold if they want to. A few things:
1. If you want something ice cold after doing yard work or it's just hot, don't drink beer. You are probably dehydrated as it is and beer will make it worse.
2. Click on the "legal definitions and standards" link above. You'll see the standard the U.S. government has set for beer and then you can reassess what beer is to you. If you agree with their standard and how beer is marketed to you, then continue to drink the macrobrews and feel comfortable that you are not being told how to live your life.
3. 55-60 degrees Fahrenheit isn't that warm. While it is comparatively warmer than "ice cold" you are not drinking warm beer.
4. "Beer vs. Wine" is a stupid and fictitious culture war. Craft beers are more expensive because they are a better quality drink. Like beer, there are cheaper alternatives in wine too. This "anti-elitist" opinion of people who take what they drink seriously, want to know what they are drinking, and are willing to spend more on quality is stupid. I spend less on other things (i.e. I rarely go out to eat) so I can spend more on good drinks - it's simple economics.
On second-thought I guess those tiny coaches are giving useful advise - if you to choose to drink those malt-beverages then you should drink them "ice cold." Just don't call them beer - at least around me.